Tag Archives: Marriage and Weight loss

Support Is Key With Bariatric Surgery

Advertisements

Going through something like bariatric surgery really affects you internally. Before going through with it, make sure you have a good team or person behind you. I have a girlfriend who has been through this entire journey with me before and after VSG. We have a lot in common and that’s probably why we’ve been friends for so long.

We have various similarities like our food choices, how we used food to cope with emotions and stress, our thought processes are similar, so it’s nice to have a person besides my husband who understands.

For me it was great to have a person I could vent to about any and everything. She was the one I called when I had a mental breakdown during the liquid phase of my diet.

My doctor and therapist warned me about the mental aspects of the diet but they didn’t really go through how deeply this surgery affects even your thought process once food is taken away from you.

The Breakdown

I had hit rock bottom with the liquid diet and I was so over the protein shakes and the yogurts. I craved salt and savory foods. But I didn’t have enough knowledge on the food recipes to get through every phase. I mean sure they give you a list of foods you can and can not have but no meal ideas to put together. If you don’t research these things prior to surgery then you fall into a whirlwind of repeat food and it’s so aggravating.

I went off on my husband because he couldn’t figure out what I wanted to eat. I know it sounds crazy.

He kept asking me “what did I want to eat?”

I was unsure because I was totally over everything in my refrigerator.

So I made him choose.

He must have gone through 3 or 4 different options. Broth, yogurt, Jell-O, protein shakes, protein yogurt everything was sweet.

Nope, nope, nope, nope…..

I exploded.

Realizing the Issue

I told him “he didn’t care about me”, and that “he wanted me to be hungry”. I blamed him for being in pain. I called him a bad caretaker, I was an emotional wreck. None of it was true but I was reacting off hunger emotions, stress and depression. I couldn’t think straight because I couldn’t satisfy the craving I was having for food.

I felt like he wasn’t doing a good enough job with helping me. Even though he had nothing to do with why I was feeling so angry, confused and hurt.

My girlfriend talked me through why I felt the way I did and I came to realize I was HANGRY. The lack of food choices, mixed with the inability to help myself, and the pressures of dealing with all the stress without packing down donuts or cookies to cope with the changes was killing me.

It was breaking me down because I couldn’t understand what was happening to me. Having her there to go through that situation with me was easier to handle BECAUSE I had someone to talk to. Someone other than the person I had just went off on.

After she and I talked, I realized that I had treated my husband horribly. All he did was try to help me. He was there, he supported me, and took my brutality while I processed my everything. I couldn’t have been more grateful for the time he took to make sure that I was okay.

I didn’t realize how insane I would become just because I couldn’t eat. It’s not like it happened a lot either. But, it was during that time I understood that although food was not my main problem with my overall health it was still a problem nonetheless.

This particular situation with my husband and how I felt about my entire recovery during the liquid phase really kickstarted my mental health evaluation.

If it wasn’t for the two of them I don’t know where I would be mentally with my recovery.

I often hear people talk about how they have gone through the surgery and have difficulty with recovery because they don’t have support or they are surprised at how many people turn their back on you during a time of need like this.

My suggestion, get a therapist. If you don’t have anyone or find yourself struggling especially mentally seek a specialist, find a support group and just vent. Don’t sit in a cloud of confusion and depression because you feel some type of way.

You will never improve if you don’t fix you first.