**Shrinking Sunday** talk about losing inches. My waist use to be 50 inches around. I am at such a loss for words. I am so glad that I have been keeping up with documenting. When I say crazy the proof is on the tape I’m still in shock with the fact that I actually went through with getting my surgery! I’m so glad I did. Having my VSG was the best gift I could’ve given myself. Happy Shrinking Folks!!
Welp! I’m at the ER…..had a crazy dizzy spell this am lasted about an hour. My bariatric nurse instructed me to go into the hospital to get checked out.
I had just finished dropping the kids off to school. I started to drive home and all of a sudden my vision became blurry and my head felt funny. I was only 5 mins from home so I called my husband and talked with him until I pulled into the driveway. I figured it would go away if I laid down but after laying down for about 15 mins it didn’t. Once hubbs got home he took me to the emergency room.
…all of a sudden my vision became blurry and my head felt funny.
Upon check in I discovered that the employee had had a VSG 6 months prior. So of course we spoke about the journey and how much our lives had changed since having our procedures done. She did mention that her biggest issue at the time was her fluid intake. She said she understood how difficult it is to drink all the water that is required on a daily basis.
After a few minutes they called us back and finished checking me in. Once I explained my symptoms and told them that I was on recovery from bariatric surgery they quickly ordered blood work , an EKG and an MRI. Due to the prescription meds that I was taking they had to take certain precautions to ensure I wasn’t experiencing a blood clot or any other surgery related complications. They immediately hooked me up with some fluids and told me to relax.
Some time had passed and they came to get me for the MRI. At this point I was still dizzy but nothing to crazy. As long as I didn’t stand up I was good. I waved bye-bye to the hubbs and off they went.
I’m claustrophobic so this trip down the hall to the MRI machine freaked me out. This machine was closed in as well so it was really creepy. They tried to soften it up with the cool glow in the dark galaxy stickers. But, It wasn’t working The tech was cool about it though, she talked to me the whole time I was in there. It lasted for about an hour. Then they brought me back into my little room.
They tried to soften it up with the cool glow in the dark galaxy stickers. but it wasn’t working…
Once we got my results for the bloodwork they came in and explained that It was dehydration. No clots, blood was fine, scans were good. They told me to be mindful of my fluid intake and to keep bottles of water with me to sip on throughout the day. I stayed on the fluids for a little longer then they sent me home.
It was a rather interesting experience for me because I don’t usually need to go to the doctors office for anything let alone the hospital. But, since surgery having an on call nurse has been a huge benefit. I don’t ever have to really wonder about anything. I can reach out and get questions answered about food, vitamins, safe exercises, when should I go to the hospital, all kinds of stuff. Not really sure if everyone gets an on call nurse or if that was just a part of my insurance plan. However, it was an amazing perk.
I can not believe I can actually say those words. And to be honest I didn’t think it was going to be that big of a deal. But who am I kidding?! It’s freaking amazing.
I didn’t give myself enough credit for making the life changing decision that gave me a second chance. So I made a promise to celebrate every victory no matter what. I know what it felt like to be on the negative side of things. And I am over that.
Ok, so when you get over a certain weight your abdomen does this inward fold thing. Normally it’s right where your navel is, it kind of aides in the belly fold. The ending result is this kind of stacking effect (hence the “2 stomach” term) Anyway….
I was sitting talking to the hubbs and I looked down and noticed my stomach wasn’t creasing. I was like “babe grab the camera… take the picture” He’s looking all puzzled like what’s happening?! I’m like “just grabbed the camera and tell me when you press record.” I had to make sure it wasn’t an illusion. So I sat up and leaned back, then sat up and leaned back and it was still 1 stomach! I was over the top excited.
I’ve always been held back from some of the many joys of being a woman because of how I felt about my body. Even though I had people by my side and in my corner there are moments that you experience alone!
Those are the moments that crush your confidence, that feeds you lies and poison your mentality. Those are the moments when negativity invades. When you’re scrolling down timelines and you want to be happy for the success of others but can’t help but find flaws and compare everything.
When you’re laying up at night and your mind is going 5k miles and hour because you’re trying to figure out what did you do to deserve this?
You start coming up with things and making s*** up in your head.
Why do I have to be the one living in this body that doesn’t look as appealing to me as I want it to?
Why can’t I give birth and snatch right back?
I wonder what else they’re doing because there’s no way they lost that much weight in that amount of time and I haven’t lost anything in 2 weeks!
Those moments… that feeling.
It’s hard to feel good, sexy, and confident when you’re 100+ pounds over weight. It’s hard to wake up in the morning all energized and take time out to get all done up, when your feet hurt the moment they touch the ground from the pressure of your body. When your back is in chronic pain because its working in overdrive to hold up all your extra weight. When your lungs feel like they are about to explode because you attempted working out to get healthier.
After living in a depressive state like that for so many years it drains you. You tend to lose sight of excitement, you lose sight of joy, you lose sight of self love, and self care. You lose sight of YOU!
I got so low I gave up on everything. I asked myself “what else could possibly go wrong?” With the way my life was going “What’s the worst that can happen if I just got the damn surgery?” I reached a point in life where I just said “f*** it”.
Boy am I glad that I did
I felt so good in this moment. I felt accomplished, i felt sexy, i felt happy.
I don’t care how small, how ridiculous, how cheesy, how lame. At the end of the day…I made this change for me. Everything I had energy to complain about I will celebrate. Today was one of those days. I felt so good in this moment. I felt accomplished, I felt sexy, I felt happy. I was so happy I had to share…..
I made a video and everything…..
IT IS A BIG DEAL.
Whoohoo NO SCALE VICTORY FOR THE WIN
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“This was back when I attempted keto for the 1st time. It took 6 months to drop 20 pounds trying to get prepared for a wedding. I didn’t really see any change. Fast Forward to 2020 I’m down 69 lbs in 8 months. 84 lbs down from my highest weight. I haven’t felt this good in a long time. Best decision I ever made!!“
Sometimes all you need is a little splash of color
One thing I can say about weight loss surgery is that you definitely feel brighter. Because of that you tend to dress brighter….at least that’s how it happened for me. Weight loss has increased my confidence levels so much. I have found a new love for shopping clothes, shoes, accessories any and everything. I’ve always had a thing for shopping but it was mainly therapeutic. Prior to surgery my closet didn’t know what colors or patterns were. If I had any colorful items in my closet before VSG it came from the hubbs.
Last year before surgery I would have never!
I say that about a lot of things now. Colors usually attract attention so I was never one who wanted to wear colors and bright things. After about 6 months post-op the self confidence skyrocketed. I found myself shopping and buying all kinds of stuff. I begin to test out colors and patterns trying to get out of the boring and plain.
The hubbs actually gifted me a shopping spree for meeting one of my weight loss goals. I walked into a clothing store and walked out with 4 overstuffed bags of clothes. I started collecting shoes and all! I actually get excited nowadays about trying things on. I won’t wear things that don’t have some form of color on them. I feel like my personality on the outside should match my personality and how I feel inside.
I have already broken my closet shelf and had to have it re enforced. At this rate I’m going to need a new closet system. But that is a problem that I do not mind having. I am enjoying the benefits of weight loss. It’s a whole new level of self care.
OMG!! The daily weight loss struggles when you’re trying to be cute.
Even though boobage loss was explained…I didn’t think it would be this serious. Lately I’ve been experiencing what I like to call the “Cleavage Cave-In”. It’s the only way I can explain what is happening to my boobs. They literally look like they are collapsing inward. I can’t even tell you what size bra I currently wear. Everytime I go to buy a new one the struggles increase, within a few days time it doesn’t fit anymore and/or the support is gone.
I’ve never been a fan of bras but they have always been necessary due to how large my boobs use to be. I am one of those “can’t wait to get off work cause I’m taking my bra off as soon as I pull into the driveway type girls”, one of those “unclip the bra and let gravity take over” type of girls. I can’t really say if my problem with bras is naturally developed or if it’s just an annoyance because my boobs were always so heavy. Either way the struggle is real.
So the hubbs and I are in the room getting ready. As i’m trying to decide what look I want to wear for the day, I’m like “damn man I really need to order some new bras because my selection at the house is getting slimmer and slimmer”. Meanwhile the hubbs is like “baby just order them now, why do you keep pushing it off” and I simply replied “because I don’t see the point, I can still make some of the older bras work” I go over to the mirror to see how much magic needs to be done and boom
“THE CLEAVAGE CAVE-IN”
At this point I was like there ain’t no way I can fix this. Then it hit me…STUFFERSSSSS!! Only thing is I never had to stuff a bra before so I don’t even know where to begin. Instantly I started thinking about what girl movies had I watched that taught me about bra stuffing? Now and Then was the only thing I could remember. I didn’t want to use pudding like Teeny (that could turn out messy although hubbs would probably enojy that one) I definitely didn’t want to tape them down like Roberta (skin too sensitive) So I just went with socks. I have hundreds of them so I started packing and stuffing.
Now, I hope the girls from back in the days who had to stuff their bras used way less pairs of socks then I did. I had 7 pairs of socks stuffed in my bra… ankle socks, footies, crew socks, and fluffy ones. The winter socks pushed up the best by the way just saying!
Voila! Cleavage Cave filled in . I took a selfie to see if it worked and it did, you can’t even tell can you? It was a very interesting process actually.
There was no way I was walking around with that many socks in my bra. As I started to unstuff, in walks my 17 year old with this question mark wrinkle on his forehead talking about ….”what are you doing? Why are you taking socks out of your bra?” and then he cracks up laughing. #Teenagers
I was like …”listen don’t judge me, the struggles are real! I gotta make adjustments every now and then.”
I took that bra off and into the donation box it went I prefer comfort over look. I grabbed a minimizer
Good Morning beautiful. We hope you have a great day today. See you soon. mommy and daddy
October 2, 2019 (Mirror Messages)
Here’s to another “I see you chachi” moment!
When I tell you that I am my own goals, I am not lying hunny . I feel so good when I look in the mirror now. Everytime I see a mirror it turns into a full photo shoot. I took the photo on the left about 2 years ago. This was actually a sexy photo for my husband go figure. I personally never really felt “sexy” or whatever and I always ended up looking goofy when I tried. “You are always your sexiest when you don’t try” the Mr. would say.
In all the time we’ve been together HE (keyword people…..HE) has never made me feel any type of way about my physical appearance. I appreciate him for that because people fall under the false notion that someone has to “give you confidence, when you don’t feel confident yourself”. For many years I secretly blamed him in a way for not making me “feel beautiful”, for not making me “feel sexy”, for not making me “feel confident”. I knew deep down that it wasn’t his fault or his job, but it was very easy to deflect my feelings onto him and then blame him for my sadness about it. I created and caused a lot of drama and crazy arguments because of my own personal issues within.
I wish I could say I felt the same confidence in the photo to the left as I did on the right but we know that’s not truly the case. I had curves for days, booty for days, thighs for days, and I was not at all sloppy. But, there were very few days in which I loved the skin that I was actually living in. I would try to categorize myself to ease the pain of accepting the fact that I didn’t love myself or my body. “Thick” became the new acceptance term. As long as I was considered “Thick” I didn’t view my size as a bad thing not that it mattered because even though “thick” would come from my mouth… pain, stress, pressure, and body aches would speak very loud internally.
Self confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings
you are beautiful, you are worth it…
I will never get tired of saying how happy I am that I choose to get bariatric surgery. The entire process from the decision to have surgery all the way to the surgery anniversary was such an eye opening experience. It has affected every portion of my life. My VSG was my second chance at self love, self care, inner peace, and so much more. I have lost 90+ pounds in 13 months. My health is the best it’s ever been and I feel amazing. Another day in the book!
These before and after photos make me smile! This is the true motivation….I take photos to document because most days I don’t see a difference. But when I put on something that I’ve snapped a photo in and compare the two I am so proud of myself everyday for making the decision to get my VSG.